Funny Money, Funnier Honies.....

Before I start this review, let's get a few things straight:

This movie, Money Hai Toh Honey Hai, stars Aftab Shivdasani, Upen Patel, Celina Jaitely, Kim Sharma, Sophie Choudhary, Hansika Motwani and a decidedly senile Prem Chopra (though it's got nothing to do with the character he essays). So, however crazy a movie-goer you might be, you cannot possibly have any expectations from this no-brainer.

However, it also stars Govinda, Manoj Bajpayee and Ravi Kishen (all of whom, time again, have proved they are actors par excellence). So I guess you've got yourselves a few redeeming factors after all.

Let's get down to it, then, shall we?

Prem Chopra plays an extremely successful industrialist by the name of Jaiswal. He's super-rich and super-crazy! When he realizes that he has no heir to his empire, he dreams up the names and numbers of six losers (Govinda, Patel, Jaitely, Hansika, Aftab and Manoj). In the process, he ends up annoying Ravi Kishen who's been his faithful manager for eons and was waiting for the day the reigns would be passed over to him. (How he dreams them up is another matter completely and one which nobody thought mattered enough to explain. Oh well).

Govinda plays a rich spoilt-brat of a kid to Javed Sheikh (who, after commendable performances in Om Shanti Om and Jannat, delivers a damp squib here), a harassed rich dad, and Ketki Dave, a soap-opera-obsessed mother. Ketki's entire life (and her household's) revolves around the sitcom "Meera" whose title character is (surprise, surprise), Hansika Motwani!

Aftab Shivdasani is down on his luck loser in life. He's an advertising guy who's "catchy" lines never seem to work. He also loses his girlfriend, Kim Sharma (awful), to a richer, more handsome fellow. Obviously, she's got her priorities right.

Celina Jaitely is a fashion designer (huh? She can't even dress herself) who can't earn a buck out of designs; all because of super-evil, richer, better-known designer Dolly (Archana Puran Singh--finally in a classy comic role. She's just perfect) who buys her designs at dirt-cheap prices (though Celina does get Dolly's stamp on her clothes. Frankly, I think this's is a classic case of 'beggars can't be choosers'. But who'm I to comment?).

Upen Patel is a model. . .for "Fauji" underwear. He's handsome, he's got the moves and he's got......Dolly? Patel plays a sexually-exploited aspiring model who's just dying for a deal with a soft-drink company. It must be mentioned that even though he CANNOT act, his specific sub-plot isn't all that bad though I guess most of the credit goes to Archana Puran Singh for adding a zing to the tale.

Manoj Bajpayee plays an anti-Murphy--a repeated failure when it comes to business, he refuses to give up and maintains an optimistic approach to life (constantly chanting that even though he lost a truckload of money, he gained invaluable experience). His role may not be extensive but, trust me, he's simply fabulous. What little this film has to offer, Bajpayee plays a huge rule in it.

Hansika Motwani. Ok, she is SO pathetic an actress, I find it hard to comment. I might be harsh, after all, she's just 16, but mincing words won't change things: she can't act. She plays "Meera" (mentioned above), a spoof of the surprisingly popular Parvati from Kyunkii Saas Bhii Kabhii Bhau Thii (give or take a few i's, a's or k's) and she's desperate to leave the boob tube and head for Bollywood.

A special mention of the Hansika angle, though. The directors have either forgotten that she's just 16 or they're a bunch of perverts. Whatever the case, they're exploiting the natural beauty of this lil' girl--cleavage enhancing/baring costumes, miles and miles of legs and a skin show Celina Jaitely would redden at (and if that isn't a yardstick to measure the titillation by, then nothing is), specially in that semi-belly dance number she does with Ganesh Acharya (who's really, really fat but a really, really good dancer).

The acting, eh? Well, here goes...

Being Govinda, you know he'll always be worth a watch, but it's sad that he's being made to act like a 20-year-old when he's clearly nearing the mid 40's. As long as he acts his age (like he did in Bhagam Bhaag) he's extraordinary.

Aftab's okay-ish, I guess. It's not a very extensive role but he does justice to it (though I still think he was way better in De Taali).

Upen Patel can't act. Let's just leave it at that. Oh, he's also got a beer-belly in this film. It looks quite strange compared to his bulging muscles.

Celina Jaitely is surprisingly restrained, a remarkable departure from her usual dare-to-bare act. She flaunt no skin and she delivers her dialogue well. Weird.

Manoj Bajpayee is AWESOME. No other word for him, he's simply a genius when it comes to acting. He fits like a rhythm to a rhyme when it comes to a role and this one's no exception. Outstanding. Take a bow, sir.

I've avoided mentioned Ravi Kishen till now but that's only because I feel he's a rare talent. He speaks English beautifully and his Hindi isn't as punctuated with the Bhojpuri you're familiar with (i.e, if you're familiar with who he is in the first place--he's a superstar of Bhojpuri cinema). How I wish he had a larger role to play. Along with Govinda, Manoj Bajpayee Kishen delivers a comically superb performance.

The cinematography is okay-ish, nothing to write home about though. Most of the clothes arouse your suspicion that the designer was either playing a practical joke on the actors or was love with the clearance sales at the local bazaar.

I'll never understand the reason a song's shoved into the middle of a movie for no apparent reason. I wonder what they write in their screenplays: [Camera pans white beach sand--cut to song--damsels waving their bodies seductively]?

The music is a complete let-down considering it's a Govinda film. However, if there's any one song worth watching, it's the one Esha Deol makes an appearance in. She's so scorchingly hot in it, it isn't funny. Watch it for the way Govinda moves and grooves, watch it for Esha Deol's perfect body. Simply wonderful.

So, finally, I go with a 2/5 for Ganesh Acharya's Money Hai Toh Honey Hai. All in all, it's an average affair. It isn't completely horrible but it isn't a great film, either.